I remember using that subject header quite a lot back in the early days. I think it must have been a year and more since I've used it, but this weekend's really been a gaming one. I've installed quite a lot of new games these last two days. Ten-pin alley, i've just had such a ton of fun with it! I've played it solo, playing against a virtual player, and this morning I had a great three game match with Charles, it was very hard fought, but I narrowly won.

Pinball Classic is harder than Pinball extreme. I'm surprised, I thought it would be easier. But it's got some good tables which I like in it. I particularly like Safari, if only I wouldn't keep getting eaten by the Kuga.

Lastly, Packman Talks, I never thought I'd like that, as it's a maze game, but it's really cool. I'm not very good yet, but I'm improving. All in all, I've spent a lot of the weekend with glazed out of focus eyes, and all my attention on what's going on in my headset.

I've had a fairly nasty Migraine these last couple of days. it's a low-level one, sort of niggling behind my left eye. I hate those, cos they aren't bad enough for me to go to bed, but just annoying enough to stop you enjoying anything. So the games were a great source of distraction.

Some more positive news is that blindwriter4god is much better these days, still coughing a lot, but her voice is much better, and she isn't feeling so grotty, so we've been able to have some good skype time. I also am really enjoying keeping in touch with so many of my friends on Twitter.

Well, it's late and I'm tired, I'm in a three-way skype conference with Charles and a friend of his, but not saying much at the moment, which is why I'm doing this. So now I guess I'd better be more sociable. So many huggies to all, and to all a goodnight!

Hi, peeps! Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I really should have done, but, um, I didn't, so there! Teeheehee!

I woke up late yesterday morning, my meds keep me so zonked out these days, I hate the way they waste so many hours, but I certainly do seem to be less panicky now they've upped this dose. So, up, breakfast, do a bit of tweet checking and mail catching up. One good friend is in Vegas for the weekend, and of course my fathful partner in crime and constant sidekick blindwriter4god is away being spoiled for the weekend. I'm glad she's having a wonderful time, but missing her like hell!

Anyway, I get into a shower, and get organized, before settling down to a serious game of Treasure Mania. I've so been bitten by that bug in recent days, don't ask me why. probably just a phase I'm going through! About three-ish, Mum and Geoff arrive. They check the mail, and fill in income support forms. Then we sit and relax for a while. Charles plays the piano and sings. Gosh, I love his voice, he can sing me right under the table! I've printed out a few of my little stories and stuff, because Mum wanted to show them to Geoff, and they spend a while reading them. They seem to like them, which is nice.

Just as they're leaving I get a text from Nanna, to say she's home safe, for which I thank heaven. Once they're gone, I call her on Skype, and find her in a sorry state. Her friend Chris had a cold, and kindly handed it over as a farewell gift! So there was our Nanna, sniffling and sounding like Tina Turner, and feeling like hell on a plate. Still, she wanted to stay on Skype with us while I got the supper. I made tuna and pasta in creamy mushroom and garlic sauce, and it was smelling supberb. We have a routine here, we pull a bean bag up to the table, and put the headset on it, so Nanna can talk to us and we to her while we eat. (I should explain, I have the audio set so that her voice comes out of my speakers, but the microphone input is set to the headset while I'm moving about the room). Anyway, we were just about to say Grace, when Skype kicked us. I hurry back to try to reconnect the call, and find that it isn't just Skype, but the whole net that's down.

Now a normal person might have eaten dinner and then tried to reconnect the net, but who says I'm normal. Being without the net throws me into full freak out mode. So I had to get it back, or at least try, before I ate a bite. Luckily, once I rebooted, the net was fine. The dinner was yummelicious too!

After dinner, Nanna had to go to bed, and so I read some, and talked to some of my friends on Twitter, and suddenly at about nine O'clock, I felt bone weary! I just had to shut up shop for the night and go to bed! I slept immediately, until nine this morning, and woke with a pounding head!

I crawled in here to check my huge bundle of tweets and Emails, and jumped on Skype. I'd left it up and online all night! honestly! Once I'd had some breakfast I got into my treasure hunting again! We were joined soon by thespyde and fleurett67 and a nice conference has just ended when Nettie froze and charles had to restart, and Fleurette had to go for lunch. Now I'm just sitting here writing, and Nanna is talking to Christer. Later on I shall go shopping, and I just hope for a nice, peaceful day. Maybe I'll write more laters, but for now, it's off I popski! Huggies, all!

Hi folkies! Well these have een a weird couple of days. I'm still Migraine free, though I can't answer for tomorrow, I'm feeling stretched about as thin as Violet Beauregarde's world record piece of gum! anyone not understanding that reference is uneducated, and should go visit a library forthwith! Grins, only joking!

Ok, where did I leave off. O yes. I'd told you about our ding dong with the travel agent, and updating Janey and Nettie with I.E. 8. well, then Skype started being a pig, oh yes, I think I also told you that too, the words bastard minger seem to be drifting around my head. Well. Nanna and I got dumped on our cute little Petuties about ten times yesterday evening, it nearly drove us clean off what remains of our collective chumps! We ended up trying out the voice chat client in windows live, which is too quiet but doable.

Well, nanna went off to bed, and Mister McChuckup, the awful bug in McTwit, struck with a vengance! I cleared, he threw up old tweets. I cleared, he belched up more old tweets, with a few new ones mixed in, so you had to sift and search for the new ones. I suddenly broke and thought, to hell with this, there has to be a better way! For ages people have been saying, try qwitter, it's great, it's easy it's the next best thing! So I downloaded, read up on and installed it. and hell! on the whole, I'm very impressed! one thing I don't like, in the tweet edit field, Jaws isn't reading very good, I can't check for typos or amend stuff, McTwit is better in that way. The other grumble I think I've fixed for now.

Well, by the time Charles and I had Qwitter on both puters, it was late, and I was so wired, it took me hours to get to sleep, it was gone five in the morning. I woke at twelve-thirty, and had to rush like hell to get ready for Mom to come and take us to the hairdresser.

Now unbeknown to me, she'd also fixed for me to have a beauty treatment, namely to have my rather thick brows tinted darker, and waxed to a nice shape, and my eyelashes tinted, to look like I'm wearing mascara, the one piece of make up I can't apply properly. Well, this is nice, and looks very groomed and glamorous but it's an expense I can do without. The bill for mine and Charles's hair, plus the treatment, cost me a week's groceries.

Then we went over to Mum's and were given a nice lunch, and sat in the garden with Nate and Chris. When we got back, it was to find Janey had flaked out. My Email had errored, and Twitter had bust. Of course, I now know that Steve's net had gone flaky, he's having a new modem fitted, and some five star ass hole jerk, scum bag, cream puff, bum fluff, spit-for-brains had taken it upon themselves, for what idiotic, small-minded, insufficient reason god alone knows, to maliciously attack both Twitter and LJ. But it gave me a terible fright. I thought the net had gone down here, and regular readers will know what a totally freaked out, hepped up state of quivering jelly ball that always gets me into!

Mum came in to look at the mail, and found a bill from BT. Ouch. Broad band needs paying for, but I thought it came out on direct debit once a month. not by direct debit once every three months. Well, bills have to be paid, but ouch is all I can say.

So, when they'd got stuff filed, and gone home, I had to deal with Janey's supposed tummy ache, til I found she didn't really have one. I got things sorted best I could and went to bed, but I was so stretched and wired, sleep's been impossible, so I just said aw freak it! might as well go ahead an update skype while we're at it. So here I go gathering grey hairs in August, rather than nuts in may! everything's different. only this time I'm not giving up. Only, you can't shut it. Well, you can, but it's difficult, you have to use the mouse and the jaws kersa, and piddle around till you turn blue, pink, purple, orange, and all colours, and throw the keyboard back to blazes!

Well, twitter's busticatered again. O joy! Charlie's playing chicken, screaming at Gregory, so funny to hear. I'm so tired I'm light headed. better hit the pillow. Oh yay! Twitter's back up. Great stuff. Now if only my Emails would come back up too, I'd be happy. Oh well. he said it'd take some hours, so maybe tomorrow. So, in the meantime, nighty night, tweeps, and you attacker,hackers keep your grubby paws off Twitter! Put them down your sweat pants and massage your brains instead! Growls!

Well Hoop Dee Doo! Yesterday and today have been Migraine free, and spent in the usual ways, playing games, listening to music, reading, nattering on Skype, and on twitter, and a little on MSn. I had a weirdo on MSN, who is now history, so I'll be there more often. Why do I always attract the weird ones, or ones who want to hit on me, I swear I don't do anything to attract them, and I don't have a sign saying I'm available on my head either! Sheesh! mops forehad!

Skype's been behaving like an absolute bastard minger today! Scared the bejeepers out of Nanna and me several times. The first time was the worst1 I was just inoffensively listening to music, and I heard it drop, and immediately Nanna went offline. I waited a bit, thought she was having a net glitch. And then, I dunno why, but something told me to call her. I have good instincts in these matters, I've learned not to ignore them, so I did, and she said, "So what's up, is your skype down?" I said, "Um no, you're showing offline." apparently, her net, her other skype contacts, everything was functional, and on checking, so was mine. we just couldn't see each other. we both had to do reboots before we could see each other again. People with normal nerves might be thinking, so what? so you either use some other way, or you talk on msn, or you go without! well, it doesn't work like that for us. Just let's say we were both very glad to hear each other's voices again! Then skype dropped us about four more times in the afternoon, before it finally decided to start behaving again! This in spite of the fact that neither of us were uploading, downloading or doing anything unusual! peh on it! as fleurett67 said in one of her tweets, Peh on a great big stick with bells on!

Can't really think of anything else to report. my Spyde is as gorgeous as ever, My friends as dear as ever, my babes as sweet and lovely as ever, my head isn't misbehaving at the moment, so all is right with the world, and long may it remain thus. So many huggies to all, and to all a goodnight!

This will be a quick one, folkies, I've had a lovely day. I slept right through the night, woke up late, jumped right on Skype, and there I've been all day with blindwriter4god, thespyde and fleurette67. it's been, as another friend of mine says, just mint! I also changed my user name on Twitter to lulu_bear, I've hated to see the Keel up there for long enough! Anyway, what else? Oh yes, cooked Jambalaya for dinner, ate it all, well all mine, and also put up an entry to the baby doll blog, a sort of roleplay thing, guess you could say. Now just feeling happy and at peace with the world. So goodnight to one and all! Huggies!

Well, folkies, these hav been two very lovely, not, days! Yesterday was setting up the netbook. I will not go into it, as anyone who, seeing there was no proper post, took a moment to read my Tweets, which is why I take the trouble to get them shipped here, will have seen that it was a beast and a half of a day, made worse by the killer Migraine from hell, plus the fact that your ditsy and braindead correspondent inadvertently uninstalled her wireless card! Thanks, a zillions times, to freakyfwoof who she was hoping like hell not to have to bother, for saving her sorry ass!

Well, by the end of yesterday I'd got the netbook almost up and running, how I want it, there are still glitches, but we're getting there. I went to bed feeling awful, an woke up feeling worse, just fighting for breath, and drowning in well, you don't want to know.

Mum and Geoff were supposed to be coming over for dinner today, but I had to ring and put them off. blindwriter4god has spent a good part of today on Skype with us, joined by fleurette67> and Tal, and later by Rich, Charles's younger brother. I also joined the twitter game Spy Master today, it's fun, though if you join, it's a good idea to turn off your notifications, as I found out, whatever the game makers say.

So there have been good bits. The bad has been bad. Four faints, one where the wheelchair fell on top of me when I toppled off it. Just dizzy and feeling smothered all day. That song Nana likes to play No Air suits me well today. I just feel down and fed up and sick to death of being ill!

Well, I guess that's it for me. Charles has been so great today, and Nana has been wonderful too. They are my sword and shield, protecting me from illness, or trying to. I thank them so much! I'm out of herenow. Night night.

Hi y'all! Woke up in the night hardly breathing because of my stupid sinuses! Sheesh! We take breathing for granted when we can do it easily. I know one person who has asthma, and another who has had a bad sinus infection, and now I sympathise fully. This sinus infection's been hanging around for the last eighteen months, in varying degrees of blahness! I just want it gone. I want my sense of smell and taste back, dammit! And to be able to breathe properly would also be nice!

Anyway, I got up so as not to disturb the sleeping Charles, and had a couple hours with Janey. Sent a very shirty tweet at the maker of McTwit, as the new version kept pulling me into the McTwit window, wherever I was, whenever a new tweet came in! Absolutely infuriating, especially if you were trying to find something on a big web page!

Well, I finally got back to sleep, and woke late. Charles was already showering and shaving. When he'd done I got ready, and we were only just in time to head straight out the door to Gram's! We had a lovely afternoon there, after a rather cool start the last time, they got on so well this time! I'm so so glad! Gram had a Vic micro mist spray, which helped my awful awful sinuses, could hardly breathe all day til I took the spray.

We got back at four, and went straight to Honey, as we've Christened the piano. I know, can't help it, I'm just terminally weird. We sang and played duets for two solid hours. Singing duets with Charles is just gorgeous, and playing them is equally amazing! While we were thus engaged, Nate rang to tell me the new netbook was in process of being set up, and needed a name. obvious. Netty. I'll get her sometime early next week when Nate's in the area. He's taking Mccaffy off, and resizing the hard drive, uninstalling unnecessary programs, and junk like that. I can't wait to see her!

I made a spicy chicken salad for supper, then was just about to call blindwriter4god when a friend of Charles called first. Of course, as we share the one account right now, not too much I could do. By the time that call was over it was late and geeses were in bed. Now I'm here. I'm really really tired! I just hope another dose of spray lets me sleep properly tonight!

And that's your lot! Big huggies to all my friends, wherever you are in the world! Night night all!

Hi y'all! Intrigued? Well, just wait, all will be revealed.

I woke up this morning with an awful headache, but I took some painkillers, and it soon went away. I got on Skype with blindwriter4god and we've spent an awful lot of the day together. She gets on so well with Charles and I, it's amazing how comfortable we all are. Anyway, we were talking, and Charles woke up so I went to get the breakfast. I have my skype output set to speakers, and input set to the headset mic, so we can move the microphone for maximum pick up power, wherever we are in the den. Anyway, I was making the banana smoothie for breakfast, and the yoghurt wouldn't come out of the carton.

"come out Come out!" I said. Then I suddenly went into Glinda the good's summoning song from the Wizzard of oz. You who know the film will know what the real words should be. This was my version. "come out! Come out, wherever you are, and meet the banana that fell from a star!" at which point the three of us busted up into a zillion pieces, laughing.

Later in the day, when Nana's home help was there and she'd had to go, Geno called, Charles's bestest friend. We had a great Skype with him too. When he'd gone Nana came back. Forgot to say that we were also joined at one point by fleurette67 Which was nice. Just sorry it couldn't have been longer.

Later on I made a salad Charles rhapsodised over, all it was was tuna and anchovies, olives and cheese with crisp salad stuff, in a strong garlicky mustardy tangy dressing. It was really good though. Charles is mad on salad, makes him really easy to please in this hot weather.

Well, I guess you're caught up for now. Huge huggies to my friends, and I'll see you tomorrow, or whenever.

Hi y'all. Well, today, woke up feeling much more like myself. Ok, it was quite late, but hey, the walking on glass feeling had about gone. So, I jumped straight up and into a shower, dressed and got made up, Charles was still sleeping, so I thought, before he wakes up, I'll go straight out, book my flight back to Monroe in November, go food shopping, get some cash, do a few other jobs, and be back in time to cook him some oatmeal.

Well, I was just grabbing my bag to head out the door, when ding ding! The phone rang. And give you one guess who it was. First prize to the man in the third row carrying the marzipan frying pan! It was J! But, surprisingly, he wasn't nasty today, just wanted to know if there were any developments, and he was quite pleasant. And he also told me I couldn't go anywhere much today, as it was a bank holiday! Duh! I'd Just completely forgotten what day and date it was!

Well, so I stayed in, made breakfast, and then we just sat here and chilled, did some Skype and Tt, read, talked, it was cool times. Sarah turned up mid afternoon, and cleaned us all up for another week, so everything's good. I made a really nice spicy chicken salad for dinner, and after we just went on from before. Everything just nice and normal today.

Oh, also had a call from Gram, seems things might be thawing in that direction, so I'm really glad about that. Charles is talking to Tal on Skype right now, while I blog, and soon it'l be the end of another day. Just very yay. So with huge huggies to all my friends, old and new, wherever you are in the world, off I pop for another day. See y'all!

Hi. Do other people who are sad feel as if every new day is like climbing a steep hill? You think you're nearing the top, you'll get to the ridge, your legs will stop aching, you'll get your breath back, that nasty stitch in your side will soon go away, and then pow! You wake up on another day, and find yourself right back at the bottom, with everything to do over. Some days aren't like that, I'll grant you, some days you wake up halfway up, and the climb isn't so steep, some days you don't have to climb at all, but today I've woken right at the bottom.

So, I woke, came in here, talked on skype, then signed into msn and had two meaningful conversations with people, straightening out wires with one, cclearing stuff up with another who thought I was mad at them. I also chatted to other people along the way. I had coffee, tried to eat a little, but could only nibble, my stomach's locked up tight. Did some housework, now Sarah's here and the flat's getting its weekly makeover. I just feel so tired,and drained, and so desperately sad! I used to get annoyed with someone when they used to say they wanted to run away and never come back. I'm sorry now that I wasn't more sympathetic. That's exactly what I feel like doing. Just running away, far away! But the problem with that is, however far you run you take yourself and your problems with you, so I'll just have to stay, and keep climbing the hills till they get smaller and easier.

Hi Peepes. Sorry I didn't post yesterday, it was a weird day, and quite stressful, and today has been undiluted ouchville.

Well I woke up yesterday, after a good sleep, feeling really well and very up. I jumped in a shower and got ready to go out with Sara, my support worker. She duly arrived and did the mail. As she opened one letter, there was an appreciable silence. "This is your statement from British Gas, your Electricity bill," she says. I have a direct Debit payment scheme for my Electricity, as for everyting else, so as not to have to find unknown sums of money every quarter. "they say you're 463 pouns in debit." I nearly fell down dead there and then! I live alone, have no machines that use a lot of Electricity, run one wall heater to heat this room, my fridge freezer, and my computer. That's all. And they're telling me I ran up a five hundred pounds plus bill in three months? I asked Sara to look again, and when she did she said "oh, it's an estimate!"

So, I rang Greedy Bastards Inc. as British Gas is henceforth re-named, and raised merry hell. They said they needed a meter reading before being able to do anything about my bill. Now all meters for this block are in a locked cupboard in the hallway outside. The meter readers never seem to hav keys. So, I rang the rent agents and, after a lot of Argey Bargey, finally got hold of the man I needed, pulled every card in my deck, sometimes being a blind person on benefit can have its uses, and got him to come straight over and open the damn cupboard and read the meter for me.

I then rang Greedy bastards Inc. back, and lo and behold! my bill was reduced to 115 pounds, and I am actually 34 pounds in credit! I gave them a slice of tungue pie I don't think they'll forget, pointing out I'd been subjected to a lot of shock and stress, plus a hugely overblown estemated bill, all because of some lazy ass meter reader not bothering to get the key from the rental agents and read the meters properly. Now the thing is, I hate being in debt worse than anything else, it worries and scares me. I do have a nest egg, which I'm saving up to go to Louisiana for Christmas. If I'd just paid that bill, that would have been all my Louisiana money down the drain, and I'd have spent Christmas being in everybody's way for another year. No thanks!

Anyway, all ended ok, but the stress had taken its toll. I had a mild panic attack while Charles and I were talking to blindwriter4god on mobivox, and a huge hugey big one later! I also found that when skype went screwy the night before last, did I tell you about that? No, I don't think I did, well it did, it just shut down completely, as did everything else, I had to do a bad shut down and a complete reboot, I lost all my settings, and was damn lucky not to lose all my contacts as well! I had to fix everything, sounds, hot keys, the lot! That took a lot of doing, cos Window Eyes and Skype don't like each other, Thank God Charles really knows a lot about Skype and could help me.

Well, by the time he got back from his Wednesday evening church stint, I was really Migrainey, and it's only got worse today, I think probably the worst one I've had since he's known me. No hand locks thank God, just pain pain, complete loss of lower body movement, and more pain. Yukkadoodles! All I've been able to do is lie flat on the sofa and doze in and out, haven't even been able to tolerate any music, however quiet. But the soft hiss of skype and the sound of another person getting on with stuff is such a comfort, I can't tell you. When I get distressed he talks quietly to me. When I go to sleep he just gets on with his own things. He's just there, this amazing, kind, quiet presence in my head, warming me like the sun.

Well, that's all for now I should think. Huge huggies to all my friends, wherever you are. Sorry I've been signed out all day, I can't tolerate the sign in or messenger noises, let alone type messages. Actually, might sign in for a sec, and say hi, as I'm feeling a bit brighter now. Well, huggies again. see y'all!

Hi y'all! Well, this is turning into a nice day. I must have slept like the dead last night! I kept falling asleep on the sofa, and in the end Charles > ordered me to go to bed. Like I said before, he never usually says boo, so I had to go. I slept about eleven hours. Feel heaps better for it.

Well, I got up, crawled in here, we had breakfast, and were joined by blindwriter4god which was really really cool. Now I'm listening to music and he's eating a snack, life is just going on. I hardly dare hope, but I'm starting to feel better. I don't know if it's just an up day, or whether things are really improving. Had some lovely talks with fleurette67 and wordwizard1000 today, and also kwpodcast on msn and on the phone. Also got to have a good chat to rdfreak on msn last night. Also got o lord, I can't remember, nick with numbers after it on my friends page last night! Have to look up his user! Lol! O, also did some nerdling about on the zone. Good times.

Ok, guess I'll split for now, want to post to the other lj, the roll play one. O everything's good today. Big smiles. Huggles to you all! See ya later. Boyng! See, even one little bounce! Teeheehee! laters all!

Hi y'all. Well, this is going to be a short one, as I haven't done a thing but sleep! I got ordered to bed, after snoozing most of the evening, so I went to bed, woke up around six with a panic attack, heard the lifeline singing, more about that later, crept in here to listen, and it calmed me right down. So I stayed until he had to go to sleep, then talked to blindwriter4god some, then went back to sleep again. Woke up, got on skype, but just couldn't stay awake, I've been flat out on the sofa, with the sound of the anagram game over the internet as background to my dreams, I've only just woken up.

Ok, now about the lifeline. I've been being very tight-lipped about him, cos I've been spending, and will probably continue to spend, a hell of a lot of time with him, and I didn't want people to give me a hard time and gossip and stuff. Well, now that my head's less of a mess, I've decided that I can cope with what anyone thinks, he deserves the credit for what he's doing to help me. Cloak and Dagger never was my style! So, my real friends will be ok about it, and anyone else can think what they like. So, his name is Charles, he's a Klangon, I've known him in passing a long time, cos we write in the same forums and stuff. Well, we started writing pms to each other just before Christmas. Kay had put this thread up, wat's everyone doing for Christmas, and he'd left a reallly sad message there, which just made me think ouch! Been there done that, so I wrote to say hi, and we got to be friends from there. When the baloon went up, he was there for me, and he's been there ever since. And, as Forest Gump would say, that's all I've got to say about that! Except a million thanks for holding this basket case together.

Ok, so I'm out of here for now, lots of hugs to you all! Big yawns! Heeheehee! Boyng! O look, one little bounce! See ya!

Hi, y'all. I can't believe how volatile my mood is! I mean, yesterday I was soooooo down! Today has just been wonderful! And I'm feeling, well, ok, bouncy bear isn't quite hear, but boohoo bear isn't here either. Haven't cried once today! yay!

So. I went to bed really late, after six, but got about six hours' sleep, which is good for me, no panics, and woke up feeling ok. Came in to look at my mail. I'd really, inadvertently, but definitely caused someone I really care about pain. I set about putting that straight. I hate, loathe, and detest hurting people dammit! I'm so hurting myself, it's like I'm not looking where I'm going and blundering about in the dark. Anyway, everything's ok now. Big sighs of relief.

So. Took a Mobivox call from blindwriter4god very very yay. She was shaky with Christer being away, and she stayed with me for a while, the Louisiana link came online, and we made a three. It worked really well. After a while her phone decided it really needed charging, and so she had to drop, but she stayed with us on msn. I chatted to some other folkies on there too. Also went on the zone for a bit, but no one much there and had other stuff to do.

I decided to write a funny for the person who's always leaving them in my in-box. O, I wish I could put it up here, but it's long, three word pages, and it's really an in-joke which would sound so damn stupid if explained. shame, really, as I was so pleased with my idiotic little self at how it turned out! It was the story of a fairy Godmother, and her trials and tribulations. My friend liked it a lot, laughter all over the place. Very very yay, and worth the time it took, I started to do it on Klango, as a message, and then Klango crashed, and I had to restart, this time as a word document! having said that, itcame out better the second time around. Well anyway, enough about that, it pleasantly passed a lot of time.

I'd just finished, when Nana came back on the line, and stayed with us till Christer got home. Now she's just off to bed, and I'm just doing this, and thinking about a game or something, while the lifeline's nerdling on Klango I think. I've eaten two huge bowls of popcorn with butter and sugar this evening, and, I'm totally ashamed to say, am thinking about a third! Also started a popcorn thread on Klango! Lol! If only I can go on and up from here. Oh I do hope! I do I do! Huggies y'all, and goodnight!

Hi. Just another day. Last night was weird. the Louisiana lifeline was on a downer and so was I, neither of us felt like taking the link down, so we left it up. Both slept better for it. Woke up at about half eleven, crawled in here, made coffee, talked on skype till someone left for church. Went on tt. Big big ask, feeling the way I do, but got to face people sometime or I'll just turn into a hermit. Don't really know if I care, but anyway. Course I care. Think I do. Sorry, this is all disjointed. Anyway, there was a nice crowd in there. Managed to have a panic attack, thank God for key out and the chat window. Also managed to forge a new connection, guy called nick. Very cool, I like him. Also added rdfreak to my msn list. Great stuff. Feling majorly pissed off about a few things, but am not about to rant, it achieves nothing and hurts people. I sort of just feel like I'm made of glass is all. I could just shatter into a milllion little tiny pieces. And yet, God knows, there's people worse off than I am.

O hell, enough of this. Sorry this is such a gloomy one, peeps. I don't even have a joke for you. I'll focus on the step forward I took, going into TT for the first time since the baloon went up, that was an achievement. So yay! Hugs y'all.

Hi, y'all. Thank God for my natural resilience! Yesterday was so awful, but today is fixing to be better. I went to bed early for me, last night, slept for a few hours, woke up with a buggaboo attack, not a bad one, came in here, called up my lifeline, it was only ten-thirty in Louisiana, so everything was cool, and my breathing got slowed down from puffer train to normal again. high five, Thanks so much! Then I went back to sleep, and crashed until my Mum woke me up at twelve-thirty. She's trying realy hard to be understanding, and I love her so much for it.

Well I signed in, and saw dj_tt back online, so called up wordwizard1000 to pass on the news, as she wasn't around and I kind of figured she'd be interested. Smile! His net's stil glitching! Sucky! But at least it's there. Hugs, both!

Well, now the Louisiana link, my lifeline's up and about, we're having breakfast, even though it's thre in the afternoon for me! I'm not whited out anymore, still really shaky and have had a few panics today, but I'll get there. Thanks to those kind people who have left me comments and hugs! Hugs to all my friends! See y'all laters.

Hi y'all. To anyone who's used to seeing me signed in, sorry I haven't been around, I've been feeling so completely washed out and sorry for myself, it's just been a doormouse day today. But, I'm ending it with laughter, as usual.

So, I got back to sleep about six, and crashed hard! I woke up to the alarm at ten-thirty, decided I really needed more sleep. Next I knew it was after twelve and I was late for Gran's! Well, i jumped up, got into my clothes and jumped out the door!

Gran gave me a nice lunch, we wached tv, and I tried to put on a good face, but O, I was so relieved to get back to my warm cosy flat. The skype line was soon hissing, and I was soon leaking like adrippy sponge. Just that kind of a day! Well, I've done some chores, nerdled on the zone and klango, just marked time really, made more popcorn, didn't feel like cooking today.

Well, before this entry dies of terminal depression, here's what I found in my in-box from the person who's keeping the whole house of cards from colapsing. This caused an actual giggle. First one today.

VERY IMPORTANT FACTS from your Financial Adviser!!
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the
family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,
he decided he needed a wife with which to share his
fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful
woman
he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just
an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will
die, and I'll inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later,
she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Ok, guess I'll take myself out of here. Huggies, and good night y'all.

hi, y'all. Man, I'm feeling weary. Didn't sleep much last night/this morning. Was awake by ten-thirty, dressed, got ready to go out with Sara. Got all our jobs done. Bought myself a popcorn machine. Hearing someone eating it on Skype just gave me the full on I wants for it. And I got it half price in the sale at Argos.

Anyway. Got back. Had a chat to various folks including freakyfwoof nice that! Smiles! Presently skype rang with my lifeline, and I've been there and on msn ever since. O also on the Zone. I've heard such awful stuff about it, but had not much trouble there, if I avoid the hitters!

I've just made and eaten a good plateful of chicken and mushroom pasta, so as I haven't a poem or funny to share, have the recipe instead. In a small pan I melted a nob of butter, added a teaspoon of lazy garlic from a jar, and a chopped big flat mushroom. Stirred it around, seasoned with salt and pepper and cooked on a high heat till the mushroom was smelling good. Then I threw in a couple of flame grilled chicken pieces, also chopped into pieces. You can get these on the chiller counters in big super markets. Tossed these with the mushrooms till they were heated. Added a slosh of red wine, about a quarter cup, half a tub of creme fraiche, checked the seasining, turned down the heat and left it to simmer while I cooked some pasta, I like tagliatelli. When it was ready I just dumped it into a bowl, mixed it together and sprinkled parmesan on top. Took about fifteen minutes all told. And I ate it all, which really pleased me. In some moods I can only be bothered to open a tub of that stir in sauce to go with the pasta, but this wasn't one of them, felt like doing a proper job! Lol!

Feeling ok today. On an even keel, you might say! Lol! Huggies, y'all! Smiles. See ya laters!

Hi y'all! After yesterday's day from hell, I never thought it would happen, but this has been a lovely lovely day! I had eight hours' sleep, just glorious! Then I got up, showered, dressed and Mum and Geoff came over for lunch. They brought sandwichs, we had Jaffa cakes and tea. Mum was a bit overly bracing, I find being jollied along a bit hard to take, but she really was lovely today!

As soon as they were gone, I got a skype call and I've been on skype all day since, that's where I still am. We've had a few drips, but nothing like yesterday. I joined the Zone yesterday, I think most of you reading this will know it and be groaning, it's a big networking site, rather like the blined facebook I'd say. Well, the games are fun, and yuh, there's a fair few weird people around, and my god, you have to watch, I hadn't been there five seconds and I was getting hit on! But I've had a great time there today, answering quicknotes and playing anagrams and high low.

I managed to eat another hot dinner, ok left over tuna rice, but good. And some jaffa cakes. I've chatted to various nice folkies on msn today, thanks y'all. I'm keeping out of the bigger chat rooms for a while, various reasons, one of which is I don't suddenly want to bust out crying, a habit I've developed, and embarass myself. And he who must not be named has a very commone name that's also a word. Mention it, and I just feel as if someone stabbed me! shit! When does scar tissue start growing. Yesterday's soon enough!

Anyway, enough of that, quite enough! Just got to write out my list for tomorrow, and must do a klango surf, haven't been in for days! And then I think I'll head for the pillow! Huge huge huggies to all my amazing friends. Smiling face. See y'all.

Hi, y'all! Well, it's been a remarkable few days indeed. It's really at times like these, you find out who your friends are! Thank God, I seem to have a lot of them! Even people who I'd only thought of as nodding acquaintances have sent me Klango messages after I left a two-sentence entry in my blog there. To all of you, all of them, everyone who's been so brilliant, my heart felt, proffound thanks, I'm so amazingly grateful I just don't know what to say!

So, where have I been, and how have I been spending my time, you might ask? Crying on the sofa, going through all our old love Emails? Hell no! I've spent the days on Skype with great friends, on Team Talk, on MSN. And everything to do with anything to do with anything has had to be ruthlessly deaded. It cost me a bucket of tears, but I know it was the right thing. Now I can't ever be tempted in weak moments.

Ok, so the sad still catches me, but I feel mad now really. Not mad at him, I told you, not one bad word. More mad at myself for falling into that kind of dead end thing in the first place, and letting it go on so long. The mad is helping me. I had one really really bad moment when I got a text from him tonight. Jees, that sucked, like getting an unexpected punch in the guts. The Bugaboos nearly had me for sure! Bugaboos? Oh, they're a new invention of one of my Klango friends's, it's what we call the panic attacks and eating problems I have. I see them as nasty little animals like Tasmanian devils, with pointy ears and sharp teeth and long tales. They live down holes and in corners, and they're always jumping out when I least expect them, trying to get me, But, I got news for them. They won't! I ate a whole bowl of tuna rice for dinner, first hot meal I've cooked in this place for months. I'm getting through this! Aint like it's never happened before!

Ok, like I said before thanks so much to all my amazing friends, Huge huge huge huggies to you all! See you laters!!